Poison Pasta

And now, for this month's recipe:  Poison Pasta.

Has it been a long day?  Is it too much work to plan a recipe that contains actual food?  Then this is the dish for you.

Ingredients:

1 pkg of Trader Joe's Shrimp (defrosted)
1 tbs of unsalted butter
3 cloves of garlic
3 chopped daffodil stems
1 tsp red pepper flakes
1 tsp oregano
1 tsp inattention to detail
1 pkg of gluten free noddles.

Melt butter on medium heat.  Add defrosted shrimp and crushed garlic.  Saute for 5 min.  Ask your wife "should I add the green onions?"  The answer will be yes.  Chop up the not-yet-blossomed daffodils that are on the counter that resemble green onions.  Add to shrimp and garlic.  Saute for 2 more minutes.  Add cooked noodles, oregano, and red pepper flakes.  Serve and eat.  Does it taste disgustingly bitter?  Because if it does, you did right.  But what are you gonna do, throw it out?  Make something else?  Nope, better to just eat it down and better luck tomorrow.  Uh oh, your wife is now suddenly violently ill, and you are not doing too great yourself.  Then your wife will notice that 3 of her daffodils are missing.  "Zan, throw up everything now, you put the daffodils in the pasta instead of the green onions!"

Call poison control.  Purge everything from your stomach.  Feeling stupid?  You should.  Google "accidentally confuse green onions with daffodils."  Read that the same thing happened in 2009 in England in a Primary school's cooking class, and as a result, dozens of school children were sick.That makes you feel much better.  

Bon Appetite